Use Technology for What It Adds, Not What It Replaces

Technology is woven into the fabric of modern childhood. Today’s tamariki are growing up in a world where Wi-Fi is expected, video calls are normal, and answers to almost any question are just a tap away. Screens are part of how children learn, play, connect, and rest, and for many whānau, they’re an everyday tool for getting through busy days.

This generation has never known life without digital devices. For them, technology isn’t “new” or novel; it’s simply part of the background of life. And in many ways, that’s not a bad thing.

What technology brings into our children’s worlds

When used well, technology can add a lot to children’s lives. It opens up access to information and learning in ways previous generations couldn’t have imagined. Children can explore creativity through drawing apps, music tools, coding games, and digital storytelling. They can learn about the world, from the birds in their backyard to the history of Aotearoa with curiosity and independence.

For many whānau, screens also support connection. Video calls allow children to maintain relationships with whānau who live far away. Shared games, photos, and messages can help children feel close to people they don’t get to see often.

Technology can also be a practical support for parents. A familiar show while dinner is cooked, a calming game during a long wait, or a device that helps a child regulate when emotions are running high can be genuinely helpful. For whānau navigating stress, illness, or exhaustion, screens can provide moments of relief - and that matters too!

When helpful quietly becomes the default

At the same time, screens are designed to hold attention. Time can pass quickly without anyone quite noticing, and what starts as a helpful tool can slowly become the default way children fill space, manage boredom, or wind down.

Many parents notice that after long periods on devices, their children seem flatter, more irritable, or more disconnected. This isn’t because screens are “bad,” but because young nervous systems are still developing. Fast-paced visuals, constant input, and limited movement can overstimulate children, even when the content itself is age-appropriate.

Adults often notice this in themselves too - that familiar feeling of being overstimulated yet strangely tired, scrolling without really resting. Children are learning from what they experience, and from what they see modelled around them.

The balance most parents are trying to find

The challenge isn’t choosing between screens and no screens. For most families, that’s neither realistic nor necessary. The real work is finding balance, and balance will look different for every whānau, and even from day to day.

A helpful question can be:

What role is technology playing right now?

Is it adding something, whether that be learning, creativity, connection, rest - or is it quietly replacing something else, like movement, conversation, play, or shared time?

Being intentional doesn’t mean being perfect. It might look like:

• Keeping some parts of the day screen-free, such as meals or bedtime routines
• Choosing content together, rather than leaving it on autoplay
• Balancing screen time with plenty of opportunities for outdoor play, hands-on creativity, and face-to-face connection
• Noticing how a child responds to screens and adjusting when needed

These small moments of awareness help parents stay connected to the rhythm of their days, rather than feeling like technology is setting the pace.

Where connection still grows best

For all the benefits technology brings, the moments that build deep connection often happen away from screens - when children are outside exploring, talking while cooking, reading together, playing imaginatively, or simply sitting alongside someone who is present with them.

These experiences support emotional regulation, language development, creativity, and a sense of belonging. They’re also where children feel most seen and connected - not because screens are absent, but because relationships are front and centre.

Technology doesn’t need to disappear from children’s lives to make space for this. It just needs clear boundaries and thoughtful use.

Remember...

Technology is a powerful tool, and it’s here to stay. Used with intention, it can enrich children’s lives in meaningful ways. But it works best when it adds to childhood - not when it replaces the moments that help children feel grounded, connected, and safe.

Keeping technology in its place isn’t about rules or guilt. It’s about awareness, choice, and remembering that the most important connections in our children’s lives don’t need a screen at all.